Ode to Barney

| | 14

20131015-221829.jpg

wodsuperstore-D4-20130216-tf-4056

Barney went to heaven today, but he wasn’t like all dogs. Maybe I’m biased, or maybe I believed everyone who told me that he was special, but he definitely was. He was always a happy, goofy dog, and the most loving one I’ve known. When I went to see him for the first time at 6 weeks old his mom (a standard poodle) just nuzzled her head in my lap and I figured her puppies would be loving. He definitely was. I used to call him a pet whore because he would get it from anyone, anytime, anywhere. Everybody’s friend, as long as you were petting him, and when you tried to walk away he would just glue to your leg to keep your hand there.

CIMG2811

wodsuperstore-D4-20130216-tf-3840

Barney threw up on me twice on the car ride home when I picked him up for the first time. I thought it was the cutest thing. He used to run crooked because his feet were so big for his body. I made sure he was always socialized and went to obedience class. It was fun watching him light up every time he would discover something new. Like I got to see it for the first time again too. I guess that’s about a tenth of what parents with human children feel like.

puppy1

Picture 006_Copy

January 006

March 011

Barney was with me through some hard periods of my life as well, one being a divorce. While he was in the hospital all last week it became apparent that this time was different because he wasn’t eating and late in the week, and especially over the weekend I just knew he wasn’t going to recover. Your mind starts going back through all the years you had with them and the places you lived and things you did. It’s also like the tough chapters in your life that they went through with you die all over again too.

CIMG2717

CIMG2755

CIMG2715

I’ve always heard putting a dog down is tough, but I’ve never actually done it until today. Wow, is it ever. They took him off of oxygen so he could go outside and leading him there for the last time his tail started wagging. Only we knew what was coming up and that was heart breaking. They let us lay on a blanket looking at the lake. Sometimes at home when I’d let him go out and I’d walk back in for a minute if he didn’t come back in soon after I’d walk back out to find him just staring meditatively at the water. He was happy looking at the water today and being outside again. They gave him an injection to relax him and he slowly looked tired and laid down. Then there was the lethal one. Before it was all administered I could tell his spirit had left and he was gone. A small part of me wanted to yell, “NO!”, but the conscious side kept my composure. Once I could tell he was gone I suddenly didn’t want to touch him anymore. Like the dog I loved was no longer there, so what was there left to be petting. I’ve never experienced the spirit of a being leaving the body before, but it does make you believe that life has an energy and there’s just got to be more to it all.

CIMG3217

Barneys Profile Pic

14 Responses to “Ode to Barney”

  • Michelle v

    Your blog just made me cry. I am so sorry for your loss. The love from a dog is unlike any other. Stay strong Barney will always be in your heart

    Reply
  • Megan

    Tears ….beautiful post… Love u

    Reply
  • Jennie

    Im so sorry T for your loss I know how hard it is to loose a pet. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

    Reply
  • Lydia Wilder (@WildLyd)

    Oh how I cried reading this. I too have had to put a beloved pet down and I know exactly what you mean by knowing when their spirit has left their body. My husband and I NEEDED to get out of the room and away from the body once it once done. Our pets become our family and for me, my fur baby. I’m sorry for your loss and the void you’ll feel with him gone.

    Reply
  • MoeDouche

    I am sorry for your loss. It is hard to put down a pet because they are family. Grieve but more importantly smile to yourself because you were blessed to experience unconditional love. Be well.

    Reply
  • Jim

    Great reflection on the life and companion of Barney your furry four legged friend! Our thoughts are with you!

    Reply
  • Jim

    Great reflection on the life and companion, Barney. We believe he is frolicking up in heaven and will one day lean up against you again. Best wishes as you overcome this moment!

    Reply
  • Corey

    Your words about Barney are beautiful and touching. Clearly, you’ve been a wonderful mom to a very special fur-boy. The comparison to human kids isn’t by degree, but by a different spot in your heart. So sorry Barney had to leave you far too soon.

    Reply
  • robertdayfitness

    Wow that brought a tear to my eye to say the least. Beautifully written and even if you managed to convey just a small part of how much you loved him, Barney was one hell of a lucky dog.

    Reply
  • Scott

    My 16 yr old died 4 yrs ago, and I still think of him , all the best to you and all animal lovers, Scott

    Reply
  • Siu

    Your love is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your amazing moments with Barney. Sending you strength and love.

    Reply
  • Noel

    so sorry for your loss.

    Reply
  • Natalie M

    Cried reading this as I know how much you loved Barney. I am sorry for your loss and know how hard it must be to lose your best friend. Thinking of u!

    Reply
  • Lauren

    Tears. Bless his soul

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Name is required, and can only contain characters.
An email address is required.
Not a valid URL. (http://example.com)